Periods make me feel lucky to be a woman… said no girl ever!
Every month we go through five days of grueling hell when our uterus is plotting homicide, and there’s a Shining meets Texas Chainsaw Massacregoing on down there. It’s five days of grossness and Chinese third degree torture-esque pain, and yet the ordeal isn’t over even when our period is. There’s also PMS, bloating, and the general feeling of murdering the next person that runs into you.
To accurately, and graphically, describe what we go through, here are 28 images that’ll resonate with every woman who’s been through the feeling of wanting hot chocolate, and a stun gun, while simultaneously wishing her uterus behaves like a normal functional organ.
Well, until that happens, we might as well find humour in our tragedy.
Or the feeling of when you want to murder someone while eating ice cream and riding a unicorn that farts butterflies.
When you have to buy menstrual hygiene products.
And you get your cocaine smuggler on.
When your face becomes the surface of Mars.
Zit just got real!
On being an emotional wreck.
About your food delivery being two and a half minutes late.
When your period is being a tease.
A very, very painful tease.
When you’ll eat everything that’s in your way.
And eating your uterus (not heart) out should be a thing.
Your bloat situation.
On a scale of cherry to 10, you’re a pumpkin.
When they give you a surprise visit.
When you’re least expecting it.
When your periods are early.
When your periods are late.
And finally decide to show up.
On bringing out your period wardrobe.
When yet another underwear gets sacrificed to the uterus demon.
When you look at light coloured clothes on your period.
When you think you might have stained your underwear.
Day 2 of your period.
Niagara’s got nothing on you!
Your colon testing your tolerance levels for gross, since puberty.
Which is never over in one go.
One word: Cramps.
When you change plans because of cramps.
Periods during summer.
Periods during winter.
Not sure if soaked napkin, or sat on coleslaw.
When you sneeze on your period.
When your periods convince you they’re over.
But they’re really not.
And when they finally do get over.
When your periods get over just in time for an important event.
When you’re one of the lucky few whose periods are a breeze.
When you realise, that for what it’s worth, you’re not pregnant.