Are you going through a tough time in your relationship, where nothing seems to make sense? Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. Which is why we asked Rashi Ahuja, an online counselling psychologist at ePsyClinic, for some tips to get through these rough patches. Here’s what she told us.
1. Look inwards.
We often fall into a trap where we think that only we are right and the other person needs to apologise for his/her actions. Just like one person can’t make a relationship work by themselves, one person can’t ruin it single-handedly either. Look inwards to see how you could have contributed to your current relationship crisis and accept your own faults.
2. Be patient and listen to your partner.
Relationships are all about give and take; while we expect our partners to hear us out, it’s a good idea to listen to them too.
3. Talk it out.
Communication does wonders! Let go of your ego and talk to your partner about what hurt you, without putting the entire blame on him/her. Irrespective of who always starts the conversation after a fight, if something is bothering you, spill it out. Sometimes, staying quiet for a long time also adds to the misunderstandings between couples.
4. Avoid making assumptions.
Never assume that you know what your partner is thinking – instead, spell out your doubts in plain language and give them a chance to confirm or deny them. Similarly, avoid assuming or predicting how he/she will react and what he/she will accept or reject.
5. Trust the power of “we”.
Individually we are all flawed, but together two people may just complete each other. So, see the journey through together — even if you hit a bump in the road. Even though you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, try to focus on how your partner has impacted you positively.
6. Realise that you’ve come a long way.
Sometimes we get so focused on our current difficulties that we don’t look back to see how far we’ve already travelled. Give yourself credit for everything you’ve already done. Your confidence will improve when you realise that you’ve already made so much progress.
7. Avoid toxic people.
Though it’s good to socialise when you’re feeling low, avoid people who try to spice up your situation by adding fuel to the fire. In trying to support you, they may turn you against your partner and ultimately make you feel worse.
8. Forgive and forget.
Once things are sorted out, it’s a mistake to keep dwelling on the past. Let the past go and celebrate the present.
9. Be kind to yourself.
You need to take care of yourself to survive tough times. Take a walk through the park, lift some weights, or read an amazing book. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something that gets your mind and body engaged at a higher level than wallowing in self-pity.
10. Take some time out for yourself.
While you’re going through the motions of your daily life, take some time out for yourself, to re-energise your system. This is known as ‘me-time’. Take a break from your routine to do something fun by yourself, something you enjoy. It will refresh you, and help you sail through bad weather with ease.
11. Do something productive.
An idle mind is the devil’s paradise. Avoid sitting alone and thinking about what happened and why it happened over and over again. Concentrate on doing something more productive than just hiding in your cocoon.
12. Stay calm and give it time.
You have probably heard the phrases “give it time,” and “time heals all pain” plenty of times. Well, this is actually the best time to put them into practice. If you just give things time, they automatically fall into place on their own.
13. Try deep breathing, yoga or meditation.
Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga, are excellent for the mind and body. They go a long way toward calming you down.
14. Seek help.
If you’ve tried everything and still can’t seem to get through this rough patch, consider seeking help from a professional counsellor, who will help you choose the correct path for your relationship.
*Cover image via HerInTalk