28 Crazy Facts About Farts That Will Blow Your Pants Off. Figuratively, Of Course

Everybody farts. We fart at home, we fart at work, when we know it’s a stinker, we fart with a smirk (that rhymed!). But how much do you really know about those mysterious smelly toots of yours? What IS a fart? We’ve got answers. Disgusting, delicious, smelly answers.

Source: Oddee

1. The word “fart” may be considered vulgar but it’s actually derived from an Old English word “feortan,” which means “to break wind.”

Source: Huffington Post

2. The average human being farts 14 times a day.

Source: Pinterest

3. You fart enough every day to fill a medium-sized balloon.

Source: Funny Malaysia

4. The foods that get you farting the most include broccoli, cauliflower, kale, eggs, red meat, dairy products, garlic and foods high in yeast.

Beans are notorious for producing flatulence, but they don’t tend to generate that sulfurous stink that repels discriminating nostrils.

Source: Lower Abdominal Pain Treatment

5. Farts can be measured using a “rectal catheter” which is shoved up the poop chute and can determine the volume of gas produced in a fart.

Source: Vice

6. The average speed of a fart leaving the anus and entering the world is about 10 feet per second or about 9.5 km/hr.

Source: Bride2Mum

7. The rancid rotten egg smell comes from a gas called hydrogen sulphide which makes up for all but 1% of a fart.

Source: Jokideo

8. Women’s farts smell worse than men’s farts. Higher hydrogen sulphide content, yo!

Source: Toni Bologna

9. But your own farts will never smell as bad to you as someone else’s.

It is scientifically proven that one becomes habituated to the stinks and odours one’s own body generates.

Source: Rinse Daily

10. Yes, disgusting people, it absolutely is possible to light a fart on fire.

Source: YouTube

11. Farting was as commonplace among the ancients as it is among our extended family.

Roman Emperor Claudius declared that “all Roman citizens should be allowed to pass gas whenever necessary,” which is an ancient variant of the modern maxim, “Wherever you be, let the wind blow free.” The ancient Japanese were said to have held “farting contests” to see who could break wind the loudest and longest. The Greek physician Hippocrates decreed that “Passing gas is necessary to well-being.”

Source: Thought Catalog

12. The world’s oldest one-liner recorded was a Sumerian fart joke from 1900 BC.

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”

Source: Pinterest

13. Farting is a fetish. The official term for such supreme sexual arousal by flatulence is eproctophilia .

Source: Giphy

14. Farting can be a defense mechanism.

A psychoanalyst published a case study in 1996 about a boy who’d been abandoned by his parents and learned to “envelop himself in a protective cloud of familiarity” by fending off would-be intruders with the smell of his intestinal gas. The researcher referred to this as “defensive flatulence.”

Source: Business Insider

15. Holding in farts can be bad for your health – possibly cause anything from headaches to haemorrhoids or a distended bowel. But in most cases, farts held in just make their way out when you sleep.

Source: Reddit

16. In fact, inhaling farts can be healthy.

Research proves that sniffing small amounts of hydrogen sulphide can reversemitochondrial damage and help avert strokes, dementia, cancer, and heart attacks.

Source: Daily Shit

17. The tighter the anus, the louder the fart. Yep, it’s true. Tight-ass has a whole new meaning.

Source: Giphy

18. For up to three hours after death and before rigor mortis sets in, dead human bodies have been known to continue burping and farting.

Source: Oddee

19. There are people known as “flatulists” who fart for a living.

A performer named Mr. Methane bills himself as the world’s top flatulist, or professional farter—as well as perhaps the only one . He farts the tunes to well-known pieces of music. He’s following in the footsteps of Le Pétomane a French performer who wowed audiences at the Moulin Rouge in Paris with his flatulence at the turn of the century.

Source: YouTube

20. One can make a living of up to $50,000 a year in China as a “Professional Fart Smeller” by diagnosing digestive illnesses merely through the scent of a patient’s flatulence. Fart smellers or smart fellers. We’re not sure.

Source: Giphy

21. The Yanomami tribe in South America greet one another with a loud, friendly blast of anal gas. No kidding!

Source: Notes From The Heart Of The World

22. Dogs love the smell of farts. Man’s best friends, they adore the aroma of flatulence and that is pretty much the reason they often poke their snout in your ass to get a whiff.

Source: Bajiroo

23. There is a patented brand of reduced-fart legume-based snacks that claim to contain the nutrition of beans without any of the flatulence.

Source: Digg

24. Fart-filtering clothing is a full-fledged industry with several companies such as Shreddies manufacturing underwear and other garments that are designed to trap bad smells.

Source: Littlegate Publishing

25. If that doesn’t work, science brings you pills that’ll actually make your farts smell like chocolate or, better yet, roses.

There are in fact also a host of natural remedies that are proven to diminish the assault of flatulence, including peppermint, ginger, yogurt and cardamom.

Source: IM Launchr

26. It is uncomfortably easy to fart on airplanes.

Due to cabin pressure, more intestinal gas builds up while on an airplane than when one’s feet are firmly planted on terra firma . What’s worse, the fact that 50% of cabin air is recirculated means that those stinkers will linger longer than normal.

Source: NY Daily News

27. The animal kingdom is a huge fart-fest too.

Termites, for one, are the biggest farters on planet Earth. Some beetles, namely the female Southern Pine Beetles fart to attract mates. Herring actually communicate underwater by farting.

Source: Jootix

28. There are at least 60 apps for the iPhone that recreate farting noises. Yes, humans continue to regress even as technology progresses.

Source: YouTub

Congratulations! You now know more about farts than most of us out there, which warrants you extra tooting rights! Let em rip, you big smelly stinkers!

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