‘Agar dil tootega nahi toh koi jodega kaise?’
It loosely translates to, If you don’t get your heart broken, how will someone fix it? I came across this beautiful line, and it got me thinking – thinking about my past heartbreaks, about love, longing and regret. It got me thinking about how heartbreaks can be the perfect tool to hone a wonderful person out of you. So here are some musings of my heart, for yours.
Heartbreak is something that all of us dread, but just like life happens unexpectedly, it finds its way through all our fleeting moments of happiness, and leaves us with an indelible mark on our hearts, which haunts us for a very long time.
Every heartbreak story might be different from person to person but what remains constant is the never-ending pain. Why did it not work out? Why did they not love us back? What if it would have? Do I not deserve love? Will I be alone all my life? These questions, and many more, keep haunting you day in and day out. Eventually, you lose hope and give up on that thing called love.
But heartbreak is so much more than this evil monster that we make of it.
We look at heartbreak as this evil monster that grips us with its sharp teeth and rips us apart when we are at our most vulnerable. But often, with the pain, and the longing that makes us weak, we forget that heartbreak is only a catalyst; a catalyst that makes us a better, much more mature version of ourselves.
Just like every dark cloud has a silver lining, after every heartbreak you emerge stronger.
It takes a series of breakups, or even one for that matter, to finally start understanding yourself better. You start putting yourself first, you learn that taking care of yourself is what is more important than pleasing others. That it’s not your job to make everyone happy, that life is so much more than that one person. It also makes you realize your strengths and weaknesses, the bountiful potential that you possess and the wonderful person that you are, on your own.
You better yourself in all aspects- emotionally, physically, mentally, socially and psychologically.
You eventually get to discover these amazing things that you never saw in yourself before. You realize that you are stronger than you gave yourself credit for. You better yourself in all aspects- emotionally, physically, mentally, socially, psychologically. You become the very best of yourself and get the confidence to do things you always wanted to, but never had the courage to.
A heartbreak teaches you the most important lesson in life that nothing is permanent and that life goes on.
That special one promised you the moon and the stars, and swore that they’ll never let you go, that they’ll hold your hand in the toughest of time and laugh along with you when you were the happiest. But after your breakup, the hard truth hit you flat in the face. And although your heart was shredded in pieces, you eventually realized that people change, that nothing is permanent, that everything has to be earned through hard work, grit and determination, and most importantly, that life goes on.
A heartbreak gives you a sense of gratitude.
After you have gone through the emotional ruckus that results from a heartbreak, you look back at things and realize that it was all right after all. You feel happy that you are no longer with that person, and you also feel thankful that they made you realize a lot of things and taught you lessons that nobody else could have.
When you finally find love, you value it like never before.
After your heart breaks, it’s hard to let anyone in. It’s hard to even think to fall for a person, and not trigger the cold memories of your heartbreak. But the moment you decide to take the plunge, the moment you know that a person is worthy of your love and respect, you feel better. You experience that sweet free falling, all the nights you spent crying over the one you lost, are finally replaced with nights full of love and excitement, and being in the arms of the one you love and the one who loves you back.
Your heartbreak makes this new feeling seem even more precious and amazing. You are more enlightened about love. And when you finally find your right person, you know that you deserve it. You have deserved it all along. So remember that a heartbreak will pass soon, but this feeling thereafter, will stay.
So hold onto heartbreak, and to that feeling of emptiness in your life, because one day somebody who’s worthy of you will come and fill it with happiness unbound, with love so deep and profound that nothing in your past will matter anymore.